Chasing Hope Read online

  His arousal pressed against her middle adding fuel to an already blazing fire.

  He pulled back, eyes locked with hers, their breath coming in ragged gasps.

  “God, Sky. I need you,” he whispered. “I want you.”

  “Me, too, but…” She meant to say Maddie might hear, but speech failed her.

  “…I know.”

  He pulled her against him again, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead as they swayed to an internal melody of contentment.

  “You complete me, Sky,” murmured Max.

  His warm breath drifted over her ear, and her heart sang with delight.

  “You make me feel whole again.”

  A delicious shiver raced through her. “You complete me, too.”

  Never had she felt more cherished. More alive. More wanted. And she gloried in the moment.

  A soft moan escaped as he pulled her snugly against him.

  The clock on the wall ticked away time, yet neither moved.

  Max evidently felt someone needed to be the voice of reason. “One of us needs to step back.” His assertion lacked any degree of finality.

  She rubbed her cheek against his chest, inhaling the scent of freshly laundered cotton mixed with cardamom and spice. “I like it here just fine.”

  He sighed. “So do I, but it’s late.”

  Before she could protest further, he continued. “And I still need to tell you about Logan.”

  As mood busters go, that was a pretty good one, and Sky took a slow step back. Immediately, his stiff posture and closed expression told her how anxious he was about the impending conversation. “How about we sit on the couch. It’s more comfortable than kitchen chairs.”

  She pulled two mugs from the cabinet. “Coffee’s done. Go sit. I’ll bring it with some cookies I bought tonight.”

  A few minutes later, they sat side by side on the couch, coffee and cookies untouched on the end table.

  Max cleared his throat. “Maddie asleep?”

  “Yeah. She was beat.”

  “I’m sorry I messed up our plans for the evening.”

  She shrugged. “Things worked out. We missed you, of course, but it worked out.”

  He fidgeted beside her, a light flush on his cheeks. “Um, did Cade say anything else?”

  Sky scoffed. “Tried to worm his way into our parade watching and offered to take Maddie to see Santa.” She couldn’t help but smile at the memory. “She basically told him to buzz off and not talk to her again.”

  For the first time all evening, he smiled. “That’s my girl.” The smile disappeared when he continued. “Um, I, uh, called Dr. Bellamy earlier.” One hand rubbed his knee. “I’m so out of my element here. I needed some advice on how to talk to him. Logan, I mean. And to you.”

  “And?”

  This time, he rubbed his thighs with both hands, a sure sign he was nervous.

  She covered one hand with both of hers. “Whatever it is, Max, just say it. Nothing’s going to change how I feel about you.”

  He shifted on the couch, darting a quick glance her way. “His mother is Anna Sue Watkins. We were friends in high school. Not like boyfriend and girlfriend, though. Just friends.”

  She nodded and waited for him to continue.

  He turned his hand over and laced their fingers together. “We met our junior year and just kinda clicked. We were both on the outside, trying to find a way to fit in. It wasn’t the best of times, but we survived. She helped me pass science. I helped her with math.”

  He took a deep breath as though steeling himself for the next words.

  “She came to me the week before graduation.” Muscles in his jaw worked as he ground his teeth. “I’ve never seen anyone so upset…she was pregnant. Couldn’t face her parents.”

  His other hand clenched into a tight fist as he spit out words like rotten fruit. “The father denied it was his.”

  She squeezed his hand tighter, silently offering encouragement.

  Max leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. “I asked her to marry me.”

  “What happened?” she asked, careful to keep her tone neutral despite her surprise at his statement. But then, that’s exactly what she would expect of an honorable man like him.

  He cut his eyes toward her. “She refused. Didn’t want me to suffer along with her.”

  A heavy silence ensued as she waited for him to continue when he was ready.

  “She missed graduation. Her folks said she was sick, wouldn’t let me see her. I was afraid she, well, had an abortion, though I should have known better. Anyway, things happened, and I’d had enough, so I became a Marine. We wrote for three or four months. She wanted to move to Dallas before her condition became too obvious, so I sent her what money I could.” He paused. “I never heard from her again.”

  “Why did he come here?”

  He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together. “Evidently, she’d told him his dad was dead. Last week, they were moving some stuff from the attic, and he found one of my letters and some pictures.” He paused, then reached in his back pocket and handed her the wrinkled photograph before resuming his previous position. “A little internet search, some assumptions on his part…”

  She looked at the smiling young couple in the picture, then turned it over and read the inscription. I will always love my knight in shining armor.

  “She called me that because I looked out for her. A pretty girl from the wrong side of the tracks was an easy target for some kids. I tried to protect her, but….”

  If possible, her love for him grew by the minute. Maddie was right. Max was a hero. Her hero. Even at an early age, he stood up for those he cared about. For what was right.

  “I’m guessing she thought he loved her?”

  “Yeah.”

  She looked at the back of the photo again, wondering why she named the boy Logan.

  As though he read her mind, he spoke up. “I don’t know why she named him that. Like I said, haven’t talked with her in years.”

  When he remained silent, she asked “Do you know who his father is? Is he still alive?”

  He paused, then fixed her with a steady gaze. “Please understand. It’s not my story to tell.”

  She placed a hand on his forearm. “I do understand, Max. I do.” She hesitated, knowing what she had to say would add to his burden. But he needed to know Maddie heard Cade’s crass remark and wasn’t satisfied with the old you’re-too-young-to-understand answer. “Max…I hate to add to your troubles, but Maddie heard what Cade said. Asked me what it meant.”

  He jerked his head toward her. “Dammit. This just keeps getting better.” Eyes closed, he shook his head. “What did you tell her?”

  “That we’d talk about it when she was older.”

  A sliver of a grin appeared, then vanished. “I bet she didn’t like that answer.”

  “No, she didn’t. In fact, she claimed she was smarter than some adults she could name, and I may as well tell her now.”

  He cleared his throat. “How do you want to handle it?”

  Sky met his troubled gaze with one of her own and sighed. “I know my daughter. She has an extremely inquisitive mind and doesn’t like not knowing things.” She turned sideways on the sofa, curled her feet up under her, one arm on the back and faced him. “Cade is so vile, I wouldn’t put it past him to spread it around town.”

  “You can bet on it.”

  The hard note in his voice told her Max fully expected it to happen.

  If it hadn’t already.

  “I’ll handle it however you want me to. If you want me to talk to Maddie, I will.”

  “Talk to me about what?”

  Max jumped like the boogeyman had just popped out in front of him.

  “Madeline Adele!”

  The child flinched.

  “What have I told you about eavesdropping?”

  Maddie shuffled into the room and stood at the end of the couch by Max. “I had a bad dream, and you weren’
t in your room.”

  Sky motioned the child over and pushed disheveled curls behind her ear. Max said nothing as Maddie squeezed in between them.

  “Maddie,” Sky began, then looked at Max. “What did you hear?”

  “Not much.” She turned those mesmerizing blue eyes to Max. “Are you not gonna be Mama’s male companion anymore? Is that what you want to tell me?”

  The pain in her words tore at him. “No. It’s nothing like that.” He glanced up at Sky, hoping she’d offer some clue as to how he should proceed.

  “Then what is it?” She looked at her mother. “Am I in trouble about what I told Mr. Jackson?”

  “No, sweetie.” Sky chewed her lower lip, looked at Max. “It’s…complicated.”

  Raw hurt glittered in soulful blue eyes as Maddie looked at him. “You’re not gonna leave us, are you?”

  His heart gave a painful jump. The knot in his stomach tightened, and his lungs constricted. His tongue suddenly seemed too big for his mouth, making his voice thick. Unsettled, he took a deep breath. “No, Tink. I’m not going anywhere.” He paused, picking the words with great care. “Your mom told me you overheard something Mr. Jackson said.”

  She sniffed. “I don’t like him. He’s a big poopie head.”

  “Maddie.”

  At Sky’s soft rebuke, the child cut her eyes toward her mother, then back to Max. “Well he is.”

  Max bit back a grin. I love this kid. But time to be the adult. “Remember our talk about people calling other people names?”

  She ducked her head. “Yes, sir. I won’t do it again.”

  “Good. Now. What did you hear that you don’t understand?”

  “He said you hit a woman named Anna, but I know that’s not true.”

  “You do?”

  “Of course. You would never hurt a woman.”

  It took a moment to realize the child thought he had hit Anna Sue. “You’re right, Tink. I’d never intentionally hurt anyone. Especially a woman.” He racked his brain for a simple explanation to an extremely complicated topic. “Remember our talk about bad words and how sometimes people call other people names?”

  She nodded. “The bullies.”

  “That’s right. The bullies. They call other people names and like to say things about them that aren’t true.”

  “’Cause it makes them feel big.”

  “Right.”

  “And Mr. Jackson doesn’t like you, so he said you hit that woman.”

  Once again, her intuitiveness surprised him. “Something like that.” He faced Maddie and took her small hands in his. “I know this is hard for you to understand, but you might hear some things about me soon, about stuff I’ve done. Some of it may upset you. But, please, know this. Not everything you hear will be true.”

  One dainty brow shot upward, and she gave a mild snort. “I know that.”

  “I know you do, but I wanted you to hear me say it.”

  Maddie scooted up on the couch where she could lean against his side, and he instinctively draped his arm over the back of the couch.

  “Heroes don’t hurt people,” Maddie said softly.

  Max flinched and jerked his gaze to Sky, who silently watched the exchange, her features softened by a tender smile.

  “Hero?”

  Maddie yawned and snuggled against him, earnest blue eyes radiating unconditional love as she looked up at him. “Miss Gail said you got a purple medal for being a soldier. That makes you a hero.”

  “Tink…” Hero? She thinks I’m a hero? What should he say? How could he explain to a child what it meant to receive a Purple Heart? What it meant to be a soldier on a bloody battlefield? Way out of his comfort zone, he didn’t immediately reply.

  “I think being a soldier is really hard,” said Maddie, her voice soft and gentle. “And sometimes it makes you sad when you think about it.” She glanced at her mother, then nestled closer to him, completely at ease. “So, anytime you feel sad, just let us know, and we’ll make it all better again.” After another long yawn, she continued. “’Cause we love you just the way you are.”

  Sky watched in loving fascination as Maddie effortlessly curled Max around her little finger. What surprised her even more, though, was the seamless way Max slipped into father-figure mode and wondered if he even realized he did so.

  He visibly relaxed when he gazed down at the child burrowed against him. The tightness in his face was replaced by the sweetest smile she’d ever seen. Hazelnut eyes glistened brightly as he looked toward Sky.

  “Just the way you are,” she murmured. “No matter what anyone says.”

  He sucked in a long breath. “Thank you.” He looked down at Maddie, who snored softly beside him. “Now what?”

  “Would you mind carrying her back to bed?”

  His eyes widened briefly before he said, “Um, yeah. Sure.” He shifted on the couch until he could lift the sleeping child without waking her. “Which way?”

  Sky led the way to Maddie’s room and watched as Max gently placed her on the bed and pulled the quilt up to her chin. Her heart melted when he hesitated then placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

  “Sleep tight, Tinkerbell,” he whispered. “Only pleasant dreams tonight.”

  The softly spoken words held such tenderness, Sky bit her lip for control.

  When Max turned and faced her, she smiled and reached for his hand. “We never finished that coffee.”

  Ensconced on the couch, she passed him his cup of lukewarm brew with a couple of napkin-wrapped cookies. “I can nuke it if you like.”

  She noted the slight shake in his hands as he took the proffered items. “This is good. Half the time it gets cold before I can drink it anyway.”

  “I appreciate how you handled things with Maddie.”

  He stuffed one whole cookie in his mouth and followed it with a deep gulp of coffee. “I had no idea what I was doing.”

  “Couldn’t prove it by me.” She nibbled on a cookie. “Kids can be tricky, but you handled it like a pro.”

  “She’s a swell kid, Sky.” He stared into his cup and swirled the liquid around. “What about her dad?” He straightened. “I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that.”

  She placed a hand on his thigh and waited for him to look up. “If we’re going to move forward in whatever this relationship is, you have a right to ask.”

  A slight tilt of his head encouraged her to continue.

  “My mother was severely injured in a car wreck when I was sixteen. There wasn’t any other family, so I basically took care of her and me, too.” She leaned back on the couch and looked at the ceiling. “I was in my second year of nursing school when she died. Even though I knew it was coming, I was still devastated. Nearly flunked out before I got myself together.” She drew in a deep breath. “Then there was a house fire, and I basically lost everything but a few trinkets and the linens we used for Thanksgiving.”

  He laced their fingers together and squeezed. “Damn. I’m sorry, Sky.”

  She shrugged. “I got through it. Buried myself in my studies and graduated at the top of my class.” She turned her head toward him. “I got a job at this hospital in Dallas. Work was great, but I was still lost. That’s when I met Brett. He was related to one of my patients.”

  Max said nothing as she gathered her thoughts. “He was charming, had a good job. I was so lost and lonely, he pretty much swept me off my feet. A whirlwind courtship, then married on a beach at sunset. The whole nine yards.”

  “What happened?”

  Memories of those years still threatened to crush her a times. “Maddie.” She sat up straight and turned toward him, hands still laced together. “I told you she was born early. What I didn’t tell you was all the health problems that come from a premature birth. She barely weighed two pounds and spent months in a NICU, a neonatal intensive care unit. I brought her home with a monitor to wake me if she stopped breathing.” She couldn’t control the quiver in her voice. “She required constant supervision. Her r
esistance was so low, any infection was potentially life threatening.”

  “I can’t even imagine how awful that must have been for you.”

  “I was terrified something would happen. I quit my job to care for her.” Eyes closed, she inhaled deeply. “Brett tried, but….”

  “But?”

  She shook her head slightly. “It was more than he could handle seeing her in that place. Monitors, tubes, and wires everywhere, knowing any minute she could die. Then, he got this promotion at work and had to travel a lot.” She shrugged. “We needed the money and the insurance, so…”

  “How long did she stay there?”

  “Five months, three weeks, and four days.” She looked at him and smiled. “Not that I counted or anything.”

  He squeezed her hand again.

  “I spent so much time caring for Maddie, I didn’t realize how far apart we’d drifted until it was too late.” She looked down at their hands, then back up. “She was two and a half when we divorced. By then, her health was better, but…”

  “Does he see her?”

  She swallowed hard, bit her lower lip to stop the tremble. “No. He tried at first, but then he remarried and moved to Austin.” She ducked her head, squeezed his hand for support. “When she was four, she got pneumonia.” Her voice dropped to a hoarse whisper. “I almost lost her.”

  She didn’t resist when he pulled her in his arms and hugged tightly.

  Neither spoke for several moments.

  “How is she now?” asked Max at last.

  She didn’t raise from her spot against his chest. “Good. Thank God. She has bouts of asthma, but Doc has her on an inhaler if it flares up.”

  “And he still doesn’t see her?”

  “No. He did a few times at first, but that stopped along with child support. The only thing I stipulated in the divorce was that he keep her on his health insurance because I had no idea what the future held. I can’t bear to think about what might have happened if he hadn’t agreed to that.” Mimicking Maddie, she shifted to a more comfortable position at his side. “That ended two years ago when he lost his job. He was unemployed for six months. When he finally found work, it was at a lower salary, and he couldn’t put her on his insurance.”